I have been praying and reading a lot about leadership lately. As men we are asked to lead many times in our lives. Women also make excellent leaders. Men are asked to be the pastors in the family if they are called to husbands in a relationship. We are also asked to initiate contact and let a woman know if we want to spend time with them and eventually find out if that woman is meant to be our god’s gift.
Also we are asked to be faithful and humble and trustworthy. For when we are single we are also called to be blessedly singles and not violate other people or our own bodies while we are single. Some good indicators for men and women, on whether a man or woman might be a good partner.
1) see how they treat everyone in your life and their life: family, friends, even strangers
2) see if they take the time to pray with you and for others and not just for themselves
3) learn if their communication style is compatible with you and makes you feel at ease, and if you can accept the best and worst of them
4) see if they have a pink circle on their license that shows if they are organ donors, or blood or platelet donors. If they are willing to give up their bodies, and their blood to save others and even strangers…then you know they are willing to sacrifice for you and your family, and possibly future kids
5) and finally as a woman see if this man leads you closer to christ daily…that to me is the primary reason to choose a partner as a woman, and also as a man to see if this woman keeps you faithful and both of you help each other get closer to christ. And is she able to help refocus you towards christ, and pull the load when you are sick, sinful, or injured physically or emotionally. The best situation to me is when a strong leader of men, finds a woman who is a strong leader of women. In this way they are both able to put two strong leaders together for any situation and compliment each other. Women should only submit to a man if he shows that everything he does is motivated by his love for: a) god, b) family, c) career and friends, d) strangers who may become friends, e) enemies , f) and lastly for himself.
I know many people these days judge partners by their property or bank accounts. But its not really about that: look at the old men or old women who get a sexy young partner because of their money. Is that what you want, that is like just being one of their tools or properties gained because they have wealth. Really being good communicators and able to support each other in beliefs and faith and having a common foundation is so much more important to a relationship being vital and growing in the future.
Being and knowing you are a gift to god first. Learn agape to love god above all else and put god, jesus and the holy spirit first in your life is primary. Then to recognize the holy tabernacle of women through Mama Mary, and the holy angels, saints and archangels who can inspire us by their lives and prayers and intercession for our loved ones and ourselves. I have never prayed more to mary than I have in the last 5 years. I knew the haily mary prayer, but I never understood how powerful a prayer partner she can be for a man, especially when in discerning for how to treat women in his life.
Then you must discern what your vocation will be: how will you serve god daily? I often wake up and ask this question of god and myself. What can I do for my lord today? What are my best gifts and how can they best be utilized in ministry or in bringing christ and faith to the people in my life. And to constantly ask the holy spirit to touch myself and bring gifts of the holy spirit to the people I love and those that need the holy spirit to light the candles in our hearts and our prayers.
We can only be and ask for the gifts that we are aware of. God gives us gifts that we do not expect, or are even greater than we ever imagined possible, but we must also ask and work to do what god has put us here for. We each have a mission, a calling, a vocation, talents and gifts to bring to this world. We are the result of the prayers of god, our families and our parents before we ever arrived. We are given names that are endowed with meaning and really help define us and who we might become in the future.
I ask you to look into great authors on relationships if that is what you desire. Some suggestions
jason and krystalina evert the makers of chastity.com, and “if you really loved me”
christopher west and his translation of “theology of the body”
bo sanchez “finding your one true love”
pope john paul II “theology of the body”
song of songs
st paul — 1 corinthians 13 the excellence of love
read “boy meets girl” on courtship and “kiss dating goodbye” by joshua harris
“marriable” by hayley and michael dimarco is a nice book I picked up the other day
and of course come to serve and not to be served— lead with service
husbands love your wife, as jesus loves the church
“the 5 languages of love” by gary chapman
And just understand that we are all broken and nobody is perfect, but if you are forgiving of others then they will also be forgiving towards you
A friend of mine described 3 personality types to other day and it cracked me up:
top 33% very positive always has kind words always ready to work and motivate others. a glass half full type
a middle 33% easy going, will go with whatever the team wants
bottom 33% the one looking at worst case scenario, pessimistic, always critical of others
we all go through each of these at different times and in different scenarios but we normally are one of these types most of the time. But learn to recognize where you are at a certain time.
So the people around you know you are aware or so you can catch each other on it and help you and your team deal with it. Being honest and real with each other is the best way to strengthen self and a relationship and a family.
And there are always tons of great books on leadership itself
I recommend: anything by john wooden
dr martin luther king jr
profiles in courage about the kennedys
franklin delanor roosevelt
mother teresa of calcutta
st therese of lisieux
san juan diego and our lady of guadalupe
st martin of tours
st mary magdalene
st joakim and st anne: mama mary’s parents
sun tzu “the art of war” as it relates to business is a good one
bruce lee “the tao of jeet kune do”
“listen” the poem
“footsteps” the poem
“paradise lost” poem by eliot
and really just sit down and read the bible yourself each day for like 15 minutes, or even better read it to your loved ones…
and try to go to mass and take the eucharist as often as possible even monday through saturday
to me love, laughter, and eucharist in bread or wine are the best medicine for anything bothering you
and go to the adoration chapel when you are discerning a critical decision for your life..